Finding Happiness

Easter Sunday was so lovely, the village set up an Easter egg hunt and the children sprinted from house to house collecting chocolate chicks and eggs. The bigger children threw their chocolate on the grass in front of the little ones to make sure they got some and the little ones grinned with delight at their shiny foil covered finds. We finished up at the farm where a local couple are growing apples, pressing and selling a range of apple juice and ciders amongst many other projects. I walked alongside the farm owner and another neighbour who is currently completing her studies to develop her work as a therapist. It felt so good to walk and talk with people who are similar to me, it’s not something I find very often and so it really hits the dopamine receptors when I do find people that are interested and interesting. To be honest, it may have hit a little harder after a difficult week. I had to do something really tough, I won’t go into it too deeply but it was a hard and very necessary thing to do to protect Inca. The evening of said challenging hurdle I sat on the loo whilst I brushed Inca’s teeth and took the four thousandth deep sigh of the day, Inca asked me what was wrong and I told her that I had to do something really tough today, she asked why and I told her I did it to protect her. {I chose not to let the playground drama bother her already busy little mind}. She looked straight into my eyes with such a knowing look and gave me the biggest cuddle. It was as if she knew exactly what I was talking about and as though she felt relief that I had done something about it. It has taken a good few days to feel better about all of that but time spent at home all together has only secured that we are making the right choices, our children are happy and safe and are learning the smarts of nature that we believe are so important. Atlas taught Inca to pick up the chickens yesterday, something she has been nervous about and I was so incredibly proud of her. She was, in true Inca fashion, quietly proud of herself.

To think there are so many children that find ‘happiness’ from simulated situations, playing computer games and earning non-existent trophies is a world so far from my comprehension of childhood. That so many children are being decorated at such a young age and so as a result are already worried about the way they look hurts my soul. I can’t fathom why people don’t understand that not that long before us the people who were driving their horse and cart to market didn’t have to pull over with a panic attack…because they were using their brains the way they are meant to be used and achieving in real life. Anyway, I should get the porridge on plus I need to ask the sensible one if he thinks we could fit a cart and stable in big red.