November Story
Well, I am sat up in my bed. My actual bed in our actual house. That’s right folks, we are no longer sleeping in the bean can, we are official residents of Strongman’s Cottage. Our first night felt like Christmas Eve, the children had fidgety toes under their heavy new crinkly duvets, Chris and I were beyond tired and desperately trying to keep our glasses of Bramble Hill from spilling on our new crinkly duvet. The children ran from their room, to our room, to their room, into the bathroom and then back into our room multiple times and it was glorious. I spent the day taking down the ‘awning’ a sort of entrance hall, if you like, to our caravan. It wasn’t quite Carole Bamford level entrance hall might I add, more a series of old carpet and yoga mats that had sunk, quite deeply, into the mud. I would regularly depart to the fridge at 6 am, located in the house, to get the bits to make lunchboxes and on my hasty return shout back to the caravan crew, ‘I’ve slipped in the swamp, someone grab the carrots!’ On one trip back to my parents beautiful home I was putting on my trainers to go for a run only to find not one but two M&S British chestnut mushrooms in my Hoka’s from a previous culinary slip in the swamp. We’ll laugh about this year one day.
Imagine me, if you will, ripped jeans at the crotch and both kneecaps wrestling with a maze of tent poles, duct tape and cable ties in force 8 gales, sliding in the swamp and carefully rescuing every three wheeled car and precious lost pen lid that I find for the children whilst doing so. Chris looked on from the dryness of big red with a look of pity and, I’d like to think, a pinch of admiration for his love knee deep in green plastic caravan tent fabric, refusing to let it bloody win before she has to pick up the children.
Anyway, I got the ‘awning’ down and then I burned it in a ceremonial bonfire which sadly was all a bit rushed because I had to simultaneously don a nice tartan wool skirt and rush to school to watch my daughters’ year 3 concert on e-safety. Yes, e-safety. Struggled to hide my lacklustre expressions during that one I assure you.
So, there you have it. Chapter one of actually living in our house. I managed to do proper plaits for Inca for school which she was delighted about and Atlas already prefers the caravan because ‘our house is too hot’, soooo really glad we spent the extra £300 on insulating render and a whole extra day making sure their room was cosy for the winter. All in all though we are thrilled to be on a solid mattress each, with running water and a wardrobe that doesn’t require a torch to find some knickers. Did I mention downstairs still resembles the blitz but when you go through the dust curtain and ascend the nail peppered stairs it’s like entering Narnia…minus the beavers.